The Downward Spiral

The "downward spiral.”  That time when we struggle in our daily life and activities.  Work is harder, the kids don’t listen, our spouse is more distant, and we start to feel isolated and alone.  In essence, we get caught in a trap of difficulties or challenges that overwhelm us.  We struggle to just function at a very basic level let alone do anything else.  

But, where does that downward spiral start?  Here are a few telltale warning signs:

•             Depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions can lead to a lack of motivation, decreased productivity, and difficulty in maintaining relationships and responsibilities.  Sometimes it results in decreased performance at work, increased isolation at home, or difficulty just getting out of bed to take a shower.

•             Overuse of alcohol or other drugs or addictive behaviors such as gambling, pornography, or shopping can consume an individual's time, energy, and finances.  This sometimes leads to financial problems and difficulty maintaining relationships and responsibilities.

•             Job loss, medical expenses, too many bills, and other financial difficulties can lead to stress and uncertainty.  More month than money can contribute to increased stress and sense of losing control.  This can contribute to anxiety and drinking to take our mind off our money problems.

•             Conflict in work or romantic relationships, stressful circumstances with caregiving or raising children, or a lack of close friendships can lead to feelings of isolation and low self-worth, which can also contribute to mental health issues and addiction.

•             Highly stressful life events such as physical or emotional abuse, exposure to violence or violent crime, a car accident or housefire, the end of a serious relationship such as a divorce, or the death of a loved one can have long-lasting effects on an individual's mental and emotional well-being.  Fear and anxiety related to highly stressful life events can lead to increased isolation and self-medicating behaviors.

•             A lack of support in our lives.  We need to have people in our lives who support us, care about us, and are willing to either put their arm around us or give us a kick in the butt (out of love).  The larger and more engaging our support system, the more resilience we have when times get tougher.

It's important to note that these factors often interact with each other, leading to a cycle of impairment in our health, our wellbeing, and our relationships. For example, financial problems can lead to stress and difficulty maintaining relationships, which can then lead to depression, and then to substance use to try and forget, and eventually isolation and loneliness.  And then that cycle just continues to repeat.

But that the downward spiral is not a one-way street.  Complex and stressful, yes.  And we can stop or even reverse the downward slide by addressing the causes.  Seeking help from a therapist or counselor, joining a support group, and making lifestyle changes can all be effective ways to break the cycle of decline and start on the path to greater resilience.

Come back next week for thoughts on stopping this downward spiral and regaining traction.